All Or Nothing

"One of the cops was a young woman, probably in her early twenties. I'm unsure since I never exactly asked her age," he said, continuing his story. "She was sniffing around while I was at work and when I got off the clock, she had the audacity to walk up on me. I warned her that she was in over her head and as proof I pointed out the men with guns watching me and waiting for her to be a fool so they could pump lead into her. After that she went on about her business. The next night at work, Santana had arranged a meeting for me. It was supposed to be a client; a potential worker for the club and my job was to test his loyalty. The guy was very good looking; charming and if I was just a regular guy, I probably would have fell for him that very night."

---

Carter looked the man over, licking his lips. There was definitely something that he could take a liking to. He smirked and instead of shaking Shawn's hand he kissed it. "My names Carter Lacroix. It's an honor to meet you Shawn." He watched as Santana left and moved a bit closer to Shawn. "Perhaps the first thing we could talk about is when you could come with me on a date."

---

"But I kept my guard up," he continued. "I sniffed him out a bit between his heavy flirting. By the end of the meeting he was given an assignment. I told him if he wanted in Nicki's crew, he had to kill a cop. He was like, 'sure, no problem.' I gave him the file on a blonde named Nolee Lacroix. Turns out the cop was his sister and she was a good cop while he was a dirty one looking to get into even more trouble."

Shawn took a moment to stop and sip on his drink. Everything went downhill from here and he wondered if he'd even be able to make it through the rest of the story. It was also pretty late. Lana didn't look tired at all, but he also didn't want to come off as a guy who was whining about his problems, but he felt like she needed to know; that she needed to understand why things turned out the way that they did because he needed her to know that his heart was always with her for a very long time. Then shit happened; unexpected shit he couldn't take back.

He took another deep breath and continued his story, telling her all about how Carter wanted to protect his sister. Shawn explained to Lana about offering to get Nolee a job in the mob because Carter was likely going to die if he didn't pull the trigger.

---

Shawn looked over at Carter touching his hand. "Leave town Carter. Get the hell out of here. While you're away, keep your eyes and ears open. Find a way to get in with another gang or something. You're already tainted as a dirty cop. The moment someone saw you with me ruined your chances of ever getting back on the force. Nicki's always looking for new contacts or people. In a few months time if you can find something big that might appeal to Nicki then call me. I'll...do what I can to get your sister out of it and back to doing honest work somewhere else."

---

"He knew. We both knew he was going to die because he just didn't have the heart to kill his own sister," Shawn said softly. "But I kept reassuring him that maybe he won't die and things like that. When we were done talking, I think I asked him if he needed anything--something to that effect and he...well he asked me to lay with him... I...initially said no but then I gave in..."

---

"Carter...we're so stupid," he groaned, fumbling with Carter's pants, but it was hard to concentrate while Carter's lips were on his neck. "We're both gonna die."

"I won't let you," Carter swore, "I'll take a bullet for you." his mouth on the side of Shawns' neck felt like they were in the right place. Everything about this moment felt right.

Shawn wrapped his arms around Carter, hands roaming the front of his body. "You can't. I'm just scum too Carter. Look at me. I- I spy and lead people into death traps. Why should I live?" Shawn felt their bodies moving and before he knew it they were falling back on the bed, Carter's warm strong frame covering his body.

"Because you're perfect Shawn. Those eyes, that....that body," Carter moved his mouth up to Shawn's face. "I don't care if I'm going to die. At least I'll have spent time with an angel."

---

Shawn wiped his eyes, the memory being so very painful considering it happened just shy a year ago. "He was shot the next morning. As soon as he walked out of my apartment, two bullets were put into his chest and I watched him die. Everything spiraled out of control from that moment on. I was raped a few nights later by Carter's father, Harris Lacroix. Apparently he was a hitman or an assassin working for Hunter. I saved his life after a drive by and I even let him stay in my apartment because he reminded me of his son. I wasn't quite over the shock of his son's death but silly, naive me," he scoffed. "Harris raped me that night and then the following night I was raped by someone else." He shook his head. "I just...I guess from the pattern you can tell I kind of gave up. I let my guard down and just didn't care anymore. I ended up in the hospital for exhaustion. That's when I found out I was pregnant with Carter's child."

Shawn had started to cry all over again because he realized after Carter was born that maybe he did love Carter after just one night and their child was the only reminder he had of someone actually loving him. He always knew Lana cared but they never once declared love for one another so all he had to go by was Carter. "Chris has helped me keep the secret this long, putting his own life at risk. He's a good man Lana and one I hope you'll be patient with as you work together. I'm...sorry this took so long but I've never actually told this to anybody. You listening was kind of like therapy for me. I--needed to get all of this off my chest. Forgive me for being such a naive, fuck up. I was weak and because of this, a lot of people could be in danger right now."

When Shawn stopped talking, she honestly had no idea what to say or how to react. She had never heard a story quite like that one. There was so much information to take in.

After a few moments, she looked back at Shawn, having looked away at some point during her thoughts. "Death is always around the corner, but often our society gives it inordinate help," she said. "My dad used to say that to me as I grew up. We were constantly surrounded by death and danger. He would say it every time we buried someone and every time there was news of death. When he and my mom died, I started doing that. Every time I've buried someone, every time I see or hear news of death, I repeat the saying. Usually once, sometimes twice. Occasionally more.

"Death is always around the corner, but often out society gives it inordinate help. It may not help you to say it, but it does me. My dad often said wise things. It's upsetting I don't remember more of them. Just that one. But even just one thing is enough.

"Death is hard, even when you're surrounded by it every other day. I've buried more people since my parents died than I can keep track of. And the day you left, I felt as if I had buried you. I'm sorry for all the things you've gone through since we last saw each other. I'm sorry I wasn't there that night like I usually was. But I'm happy that you still feel comfortable with me, even though we haven't seen each other. And I'm glad you turned to me for help.

"But why exactly am I here? I mean, I'm glad to be here, but you called for a reason and I have yet to see what it is, unless it's that you want me to kill a couple people. In which case, I just need names and numbers," she said as she thought about those last days with Shawn. You never think that your last day with someone is truly your last day with them. And that's why people neglect to tell others important things. Because they think there will always be tomorrow.

And as she waited for Shawn to answer, she thought about Chris. She had barely spoken any words to him and it was like he could read her better than Shawn ever could. The man was so mysterious and so alluring. It made her wonder how their working together would go.

"There was a moment when I didn't even want my baby, but now that I have him, I--I need him," he answered. "I need him because I realize now that he's the only person who will ever love me unconditionally. I can do no wrong in his eyes and there's something about taking care of someone who depends on you; needs you to survive that gives you the strength to keep living. Someone knows about him Lana and if Nicki or Santana find out, there's a strong possibility that they'll kill me, or they'll take my baby away."

Shawn shook his head. "I can't. I can't lose the last thing I have left in this world. I lost my parents, my sister... I lost you," he said, piercing her with sad blue eyes before looking away. "...I lost Carter, and I can never have Chris that way, as a lover for various reasons so... I need your help. You have to help me figure out who's trying to blackmail me and get them before my secret is blown. I...have a few ideas but they're probably all dead ends. I've been wracking my brain for days but I don't know Lana. I just don't know. I've...killed so many people in bed that it could be anybody."

Shawn got up from the couch and came back minutes later with three postcards, each one with a short, witty message hinting at the fact that they--whoever they were--knew about Carter junior and one even threatened to kill Shawn. "Chris is a former PI. If you're curious about his background, I'm sure he'll tell you a little bit about himself though he's not much of a talker until he gets to know you. He knows where you should start sniffing around and I really want to help but he thinks if I stop my daily routine then someone might get suspicious so I'm afraid it's like...I'm throwing you to the wolves."

Shawn squeezed her hand before bringing it to his lips, kissing the back of her hand. "My son is worth everything I own so name your price. I'll empty my account and buy you a BMW if that's what it takes. Just promise me you'll help."

Lana chuckled. "Shawn, you don't need to pay me anything. Your safety and happiness is enough reward for me. As for throwing me to the wolves, I've dealt with worse than Nicki and Santana. They're white collar, and I only deal with blue. Don't you worry about me," she said, squeezing his hand gently and smiling. "A lot has changed since you left and I can hold my own now better than I could back then. And I'll do everything I can to help find out who's doing this and disposing of them properly." And by properly, I mean much pain and torture before killing them, she added mentally.

She looked around. "Where did he go? It's been, like, ten minutes. What, is he taking a shit or something?" she asked, her eyes landing back on Shawn.

Shawn laughed a little. "Chris is probably near by. He has a sixth sense about things most times so he probably assumed we wanted time alone. He...knows things about us; things I told him, but it's no big deal. He's just a nice guy--"

Chris snorted, alerting everyone to his presence. In the midst of Shawn's explanation he'd been standing quietly in the small hall, watching a sleeping Carter and observing the two ex lover birds from afar. There was no doubt there was still strong feelings between them, especially on Lana's part. She seemed so captivated; like Shawn was a ghost who she hardly believed was real. For a while there might have been an idea in her head that he'd come back to her. Women were always foolish dreamers and he could tell that a part of her might have been so eager to help because maybe she finally could tell him how she felt. She would declare her love and then he'd own up to loving her too. It was an idea quickly shattered when she saw the baby. His baby. His and Carter's baby.

The look of astonishment blended with both anger and hurt was engrained into his mind. This meant he needed to be careful about how much they discussed Shawn when it didn't pertain to business. Obviously she probably wasn't ready to admit she had no chance. It wasn't that Shawn wouldn't love her, but Chris knew Shawn needed someone a lot stronger than Lana in his life. He could tell she was strong, but there was no way she could be what he needed. Truth be told Chris felt like Hunter was the perfect type for Shawn. Not only could he protect him but he was sane enough to know that the child came first. But Hunter was a tool, consumed by power and wealth.

Oh in his present state he'd look after Shawn but Shawn would have to give up so much; become completely submissive and that wasn't going to work at all. Shawn hated being told what to do and did not like the idea of being anyone's property, including Santana's but he was dealing with it for the sake of his son. Shawn needed another guy and before Chris could die, he'd make sure his friend found someone even if he himself never finds anyone.

Chris leaned in the door frame, a slight scowl on his face. "Whether or not I was taking a shit isn't exactly your business so you'll have to excuse me for not giving you an explanation."

Shawn facepalmed. "Chris..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Play nice," he mocked. "Yeah well I don't have time to play nice. If she's in then we need to get down to business. There's no way we'll be able to meet up everyday because I still have to guard Shawn and work at the club, but that doesn't mean you can't start following up on some leads in your free time missy."

Shawn rolled his eyes. "Lana, please don't kill my bodyguard." Shawn walked by and smacked Chris aside the head. "Stop being so damn grumpy. I'm going to take a shower. Meanwhile, either you give her a few leads or set something up for later in the week, but don't go running the only friend off we got."

Chris sulked for a moment, mumbling his apologies before taking a seat in one of the chairs adjacent to the couch. He set his tea on the table and sighed. "Look, I'm tired and it's been a long fucking night. Can we just meet for lunch tomorrow around noon? An hour lunch before I have to fill our reports. I'll tell you everything we know."

Chris leaned back in the chair, lines of frustration in his face while his eyes screamed worry and fatigue. Chris was drained and so was Shawn, but he wanted to shoulder the all the worry. His friend had something to live for while he didn't. Even if Chris had a lover or a child, he'd still put his friend first because he made a lifetime promise to himself to make up for the friend he stabbed in the back years ago. He shot his friend in a moment of cowardice and ever since then he'd carried that guilt around. But Shawn was worth it. Carter was worth it and though he hardly knew Lana, she was going to be worth it. Any friend of Shawn's was going to get the same respect underneath his hardass facade.

"I'll try to restrain myself, but I make no promises," Lana chuckled lightly before Shawn walked out before turning her attention to Chris.

"Lunch should work. We can meet at the restaurant, since I'll be there anyway. If I have to cancel, I'll call and let you know," Lana said, smiling a bit. Her eyes roamed over Chris and took in his stature. His face was creased with worry and tiredness. His body was slumped, like he was losing energy fast. She may not know this man well or have the best impressions of him, but he looked way to worn out.

"You should go get some sleep and we can pick up where you left off tomorrow. You look exhausted and the best way for us to help Shawn is to be at our best," she said and stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow. Tell Shawn that I had to go take care of some things, but I'll talk to him tomorrow. Do you now where the restaurant is or do you need directions?" she asked before pulling out her phone and quickly replying to a message she had just received before turning her attention back to Chris.

Chris nodded. "Fine. We'll meet about 2pm. I usually have a late lunch to avoid the lunch rush. Most normal working class people have to be back to work between 1 and 1:30 so I don't have to sit in traffic for fucking ages." Chris pulled out his cell being sure to schedule the meeting and fix himself a reminder that would go off an hour early giving him plenty of time to get there if he happened to forget while working.

"Shawn will understand, but I'll relay the message anyway. He said you were always a busy woman."

Chris walked her to the door. "You should get some sleep as well. We have a lot of shit to go over later." Even as Chris said the words he had a feeling she could handle work, even on a few short hours of sleep. For someone who was in to the stuff she did, she hardly looked the part. At first glance one would think she was from some rich, upscale area of New York who had every thing handed to her a la Paris Hilton style by her rich daddy, but after doing research and listening to Shawn's stories, he knew she was anything but. If anything she could have been a rebel in disguise, but now was not the time to be evaluating his new partner. He'd have plenty of time to do this later on.

"Goodnight Lana."

---

Chris stayed to Shawn's apartment waiting until he finished showering. When he finally emerged in his robe, Chris explained that Lana had urgent business.

"That's fine," he said. "I never said her life had to be put on hold to help me...if I can be helped at all. I feel kind of bad asking her for help anyway."

"Why is that?" Chris asked, gathering his things to get going.

"I don't know Chris," he said quietly. "I guess it's part...old feelings--I don't know. She deserves better than me though and someone who can protect her. It looks kind of bad for a guy who can't even protect himself to be pursuing a gal like her. But I love her. Always will."

"I figured, but you need not worry about that Shawn," Chris scolded. "You'll find someone to love and protect." Chris smirked. "Or protect you since you're mommy dearest now."

Shawn rolled his eyes shoving Chris out the door. "Go. Home and get some rest. Don't be late on my friend or else. Besides, I need you to get as much out in the open tomorrow as possible. Hunter's getting pushy and I don't--he's a last resort."

Chris gave his friend a big hug. "I will, I promise. Now go curl up to your son. I'll see you for work later." Chris left Shawn's apartment and headed back to his own. The whole while he walked he couldn't help but worry over everything that could go wrong. On one hand involving Lana was a great idea. As a friend she could be the unexpected eyes and ears Shawn's enemies couldn't detect. On the other hand, women complicated things. He had no doubt Lana couldn't hold her own but Lana wasn't superman. Fact is her feelings for Shawn could quite possibly put her in a situation in which those feelings could be used against her. I just have to hope nothing goes wrong once we get that far...if we get that far at all...

Lana sighed and walked out, getting in her car and driving home. She knew that someone had probably closed the restaurant for the night, and so she just headed home, to her apartment on the Upper East Side. It was a sort of long drive, about 45 minutes. It may be late, but New York never slept. It was almost as bad as Vegas, but not quite. Vegas was a lot warmer, even at night, so more people tended to go out.

She parked and turned off the car when she arrived, getting out and grabbing a few things before locking her car and heading up to her apartment. She dropped the stuff on the floor when she walked in the door and then kicked off her shoes, sighing in relief. She loved looking good, and always would, but it could get painful and uncomfortable.

She let down her hair as she walked into her room, stripping down and going into the adjoining bathroom. She turned on the shower and got it to the right temperature before stepping in and cleaning herself of that days filth. As she showered, she thought about things.

She hoped that she was able to help out. She wasn't sure that she would be able to work with Chris, but she would sure as hell try. Yeah, he could be a jerk but everyone could. And she could tell that he had a sweet, caring side to him as well. He was more her type than Shawn was, and she was sure that if they worked together long enough, she'd develop some sort of feelings for him. And she was sure her feelings for Shawn wouldn't get in the way of her work. Her father had taught her that emotions and feelings come after thought and wit. "Do not give in too much to feelings. A overly sensitive heart is an unhappy possession on this shaky earth," he would say. "Johann Wolfgang van Goethe said that. Smart man, he was." And she was sure he was. If only for blind faith and love for her father.

She turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her and walking into her closet. She pulled on a pair of pajamas and laid down, hoping to get at least a few hours sleep that night.

-----------------------------------------------------

The next day, Lana got up and ready for work before heading there, doing some stuff and talking with the customers. She was clad in a pair of dark wash jeans, a nice, lacy blouse and boots that ended before her knee. She had on a good amount of jewelery and her face and hair were made up nice. She looked the part of a restaurant manager but still could kick ass. If needed.

Around 2, she was sitting in her office, waiting for Chris to arrive. She had a private table set up somewhere where people couldn't over hear and she had someone who would wait them especially. She was all set for their lunch date.

Shawn had a fitful night of rest. His son woke up several times during the night so Shawn didn't get much sleep. He finally got Carter to sleep again roughly around sunrise, but by then he was so wide awake that getting back to sleep seemed impossible. Shawn took a shower, ate a hot breakfast then watched a little tv. He sent Chris a quick text roughly around 10 making sure he was up in time enough to get his stuff together for Lana. The mail ran about an hour later so Shawn stepped outside long enough to check his box. Sure enough there was another post card which simply read: "You're running out of time."

Shawn shakily took the card back inside and locked the door. He just didn't understand. What did this person have to gain from blackmailing him? If they wanted Santana's job, they would have to do better. Tana would kill him before she let some jerk threaten her establishment. Shawn put the card on the table and finally climbed back in bed. He had no idea what he was going to do.

---

Right at 2 o'clock Chris was walking inside the establishment in which they agreed to meet. Chris looked around the restaurant, impressed by the style. It looked a little too fancy and with all the men in suits strategically located in various spots of the room, he had no doubt this place was under some heavy protection or owned by street people. He looked around until a guy came up to him, pointing Lana out to him. He thanked the guy before heading to a table in the back away from prying eyes and ears. He nodded politely before taking a seat, setting his briefcase to the side.

"Afternoon," he said. Food was the last thing on his mind as he began going through his briefcase. He hardly noticed much about Lana except that she seemed just as eager to get to work so why wait? He pulled out a couple of old postcards and slid them across the table for her to read. They all had short messages hinting that whoever it was, knew that Shawn had a baby. He then pulled out a file handing it over to her. "Those are some of the usual suspects. I'll explain them in full detail whenever you're ready."

Lana looked up as Chris approached. She noticed he wanted to get right to work, and so did she.

Lana read over the notes before looking at the file. Some things shocked her, some things she pretty much expected. She knew that Shawn was in trouble, but not this much. "Alright. So let's start with this guy," Lana said and handed the file back to Chris with the guy she wanted to start with on top. "What's his deal? Does he have a reputation for this sort of thing? Or has he just messed with Shawn a lot before?" she asked.

Chris took a sip of his wine. When she pointed to Hunter, he scowled. "That's Hunter. I'm sure you've heard of his gang Evolution, but Hunter stays behind the scenes for the most part unless it's a big job. Then he'll do it himself and take all the credit for it. He's done some odd jobs for Santana."

Chris leaned back in his chair. "He's the primary suspect. See, he's obsessed with Shawn and has been known to harass him in the past. He's hell bent on Shawn producing him an "heir" offering to get Shawn out of Tana's grip and protect him and their child himself." Chris scoffed. "I call bullshit because I think Hunter wants Santana's job. I think he'd take yours too if he could. He wants to own the streets and he's got a lot of pull. We just can't seem to pin anything on him."

Lana shook her head. "If he wants to obtain and protect Shawn, he wouldn't be threatening to tell Santana about what Shawn did. That would get him killed, and we both know he wouldn't go to Hunter for protection if he was in danger of being killed by Santana. So we'll move on to the next," she said and put that file in the back, pointing to the next guy. "What about him?" she asked, leaning back and then taking a sip of her Coke.

Lana's eyes traveled over Chris and she decided that he looked very attractive when he was in business mode. She smirked unnoticeably before composing herself again.

Chris pointed to another name. "Adam Copeland. Adam's a doctor or former doctor. A lot about his record is questionable at best. His last known associates are an Angel - no last name as of yet - and a Harris Lacroix. As you probably deduced, Harris is kin to Carter, the guy who father Shawn's baby. Harris is the father who raped him. Adam, or so eye witness' told us, has always been pretty envious of Shawn. You see, Adam was sleeping with Harris at one point so what better motive than a jealous lover?"

Chris watched Lana as she flipped through the file, taking note of her make up, which was light and refreshing. He hated women who wore way too much makeup and preferred the natural beauty of a woman's skin, something he rarely got a chance to admire unless it was Tana, but there was no chance in hell of getting with her. He pointed out another criminal. "That's Dave. He works with Hunter. Ric too. I was told that maybe we should ask some of Randy's men like Cena or Randy himself for any info. I think I've met Cena once but he doesn't seem like the type. Randy, well, he's talked more with Tana than me so I don't know much about him."

Lana listened and took in Chris's information as she looked through the files. They all were suspects, that was for sure. But none of them seemed like the type to do this. There was something missing from all of their files. "I don't think it's any of these guys. They all seem like they could do it, but there's something that's missing from here that makes me think it was someone else. Are these the only guys you think would do this? Or are there more? And if so, do we have to go looking to find people?" she asked, looking back up at him, her own hazel eyes meeting Chris's blue ones. And when she did, she got lost in them again. She didn't know what it was, but they were just so alluring that she couldn't seem to look away.

This man was baffling. She knew that she had feelings for Shawn. She loved him. She had for a while. And she wanted to see if they could go anywhere. But Chris... He just made her feel something. Something new and exciting. He fascinated her, attracted her in ways Shawn never did. He was throwing her off her game, which, in this business, is not a good thing.

Chris shook his head. "I don't know who else it could be. Shawn's danced in various clubs around the state for Santana so it could very well be anybody. These are just places and people to start digging around unless you have a better idea. Shawn told me not to be afraid of letting you run the show when needed so I'm trying- for his sake. He's my best friend and the only family I have so I'm putting aside my biases to do this."

Chris leaned back sipping on his drink. By now lunch was being brought before them and at the first whiff of his burger he set aside the files and began eating. He was starving. He hoped he wasn't making himself out to be a pig, but if Lana only knew how little he ate during investigations she'd understand.

Chris kept his eyes glued to his food for the most part. Strong women were a joy to be around because he admired the way their minds worked. On the other hand, sometimes strong women were too pushy but for now, Lana seemed alright. She also had really pretty eyes and it had been a while since he got a good look into the eyes of a woman who was free on the market.

"I don't think either of us running the show will get us anywhere. Shawn wouldn't have asked for my help if one person was gonna run the show. We gotta work together, combine ideas that we have to try an get to the bottom of this. We both love him very much, and we want to keep him safe," Lana said as she looked at him.

She watched him eat, impressed that he would just go at it in front of her. Most men wouldn't. She like to see men show them true selves, especially when she was taking such an interest like she did in Chris. Wait, what? She knew she was strangely attracted to him, but to be interested in him was something she hadn't even thought about. She loved Shawn, and was hoping to have a relationship with him, right?

She didn't know. But she knew she needed to focus on this. "So I guess we'll start digging. And one of us should be with Shawn at all times. When you can't, I will be and when I can't, you will be," she said, adjusting her seat and clearing her throat.

Chris nodded, not wanting to say anything with a mouth full of food. He knew he probably looked greedy but hell, he was hungry and when you work for Santana, things like food and sleep came second to your job. He wouldn't even dwell on a personal life, which was non existent most times unless you hired one of Randy's men or women or dated someone you worked with.

"You're right. I just was throwing it out there. I don't work well with others- or I normally don't. Shawn's always been my one and only priority and Santana's usually threatening to cut my fucking head off for being so uncooperative. But it's hard working with someone who's not on the same page as you."

He wiped his mouth then took a sip of his drink. "I agree with that so maybe we are on the same page. We need to figure out a schedule though. Even though I'm helping you with this investigation, Santana still expects me to work at night. Shawn's gotta dance in the club tonight and I'm pretty fucking sure some of the usual suspects will be there. Do you wanna come tonight and act as a guard? Or would you rather keep him company during the day? We could rotate- whatever's best for you. You got your own job to keep track of."

Chris sat back swirling his drink around. Lana was an optimist and a realist; take charge kind of woman yet seemed like the type of woman who wasn't overly concerned with being independent. Most women, like Santana, always had to run the show. You know, their way or the highway but so far, Lana wasn't like that at all. He could easily see why Shawn loved her. She just may have been - or be- the missing half for him. The thought pained him a little. Not that he was jealous. Hell he cared for Shawn too but... oh hell he wasn't sure what was wrong.

"I'm pretty flexible. Either would work for me. If you need me to take days because you have to go do something for Tana, I can do that. On Thursdays, I'll have to do night and on Mondays, I have to do days. That's definite, because I have things scheduled. So I guess we can alternate. Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I'll take days, the rest, I'll take nights. Unless you need to switch," Lana said as she began to eat her sandwich that she had made special for herself every day. It was ham, turkey, cheese and bacon with thousand island dressing and it was grilled. She love it, and it was sorta healthy. Minus the bacon and thousand island. She drank water with it, though, so she figured it balanced out.

Chris seemed like someone she would get along with for the most part, so that was a plus. It was always easier to work with someone who you got along with. And maybe, this work would develop into something more...

No. What was she saying? Shawn. Not Chris. Right? She didn't know. Maybe. But this is about the millionth time she's had this argument with herself, and she was getting sick of it. She needed to figure out what it was about Chris that made her so unsure of herself.

Chris nodded, setting his drink down. "That works for me. I'm actually due to go over there now to check in. I have to go back to the club, but I usually go back to pick him up around six or so, depending on what all he has to do. If you're not busy, it would save me the trouble if you could spend the rest of the afternoon with him."

Chris put all the files away but left one behind for Lana. "Those are just in case you get to looking over them and find a connection I missed. There are some people in the file we didn't get a chance to cover like Nolee, Ric, Swagger, and a slew of others." Chris stood to his feet gathering his things.

---

Shawn laid in bed most of the day until his son cried, wanting some attention. Shawn got up playing with his baby and while he was feeding him lunch, his thoughts drifted back to Lana. He used to dream about finding a woman like her- preferably Lana herself- and settling down with two kids enjoying life. Family vacations, ballet lessons for the girl, football for the boy and a rockin' sex life with his beautiful wife, but now that dream was being pulled further and further away. Lana could not and would not want him now considering the circumstances, but who could blame her? In a moment of weakness he was transformed from man to mother after a series of bad luck and it sucked. He didn't regret his son. His son was keeping him from being alone and giving him hope that somebody or somebodies were out there waiting to love him. But right now though, it was hard keeping that hope alive.

"Mommy..." Carter laid his head on Shawn's shoulder. "Mommy sad?"

Shawn rubbed the back of his head. "Yes baby. Mommy's very sad, but I'll be okay." He kissed him, sighing. Mommy will be just fine and if not, you'll be taken care of I promise...

Lana took the file with a smile as she stood as well. "I can head over in a few minutes. I just gotta let some people know," she said and set the file on her chair. "I guess I'll see you when you come pick him up later," she added, crossing her arms over her chest. She was actually looking forward to spending time with Shawn. It would be like having the day off. She would be able sit around and talk to him and relax, because she knew that not too much would happen. Well, she didn't know for a fact, but it was wishful thinking.

She and Chris said their goodbyes and he left. She took the file and walked into her office. She walked over to her desk and unlocked a drawer, setting it in and pushing it closed. Right before it closed, she caught a glimpse of something and she opened it again. She pulled out a little book. She opened it and saw a picture of her and her dad, back from when she was a child. She smiled slightly. Seeing picture of him always warmed her heart. She turned the page and saw a picture of her and Shawn. It was probably the only picture she had with Shawn. It was her in his lap, asleep while he gazed down at her and was resting his hand on her cheek. She forgot who took it, but she was glad she still had it. She remembered that day, too. It was the last day she had seen Shawn.

She sighed and set the book back in the drawer and closed it, locking it. She grabbed her stuff and went into the kitchen, letting the chef know she would be gone for most of the day and with a kiss to his cheek she left. She went outside and got in her car, starting it up and heading to Shawn's. She parked and got out of her car, locking it before walking to Shawn's door and knocking, crossing her arms as she waited.

Chris nodded. "I will. See ya in a couple of hours." He thanked her one last time for lunch then quickly left the restaurant heading straight for Nicki and Tana's club. Much to his surprise he had enjoyed his lunch with Lana. Even better was that she was pretty to look at. Maybe even beautiful, but then a part of him felt guilty for looking at her like that. She was Shawn's first love interest and he could tell when they were reunited that there was something- some spark- still there and his friend deserved happiness. If there was even a glimmer of hope that Shawn could be happy he was going to make it happen.

---

Shawn set Carter in his crib then got up to answer the door. He was glad he had taken a shower so while not presentable, at least he was clean. "Lana! Come on in." He ushered her inside, closing and locking the door. She looked as beautiful as ever but he trained himself not to stare too much. "I was expecting Chris, but you're less grouchy," he joked, folding his arms over his bare chest.

Lana chuckled and walked in, taking off her coat, leaving her in a little tank top and her skirt and shoes. "I suppose I am less grouchy, though he didn't seem grouchy earlier," she said and sat down, crossing her legs. Her eyes roamed his bare chest and she subconsciously licked her lips. He was still as sexy now as he had been before. "But he had to get to the club, and we both agreed that one of us should be with you at all time. So here I am, until he comes to get you for work. So we have about 4 hours to hang out," she said with a smile.

Shawn motioned for her to sit as he took a seat on the couch. "I really don't think anybody's gonna come pop a cap in me. Seems to me like they just want to ruin me for the hell of it, or something to that effect. You and Chris really don't have to babysit me. I'm sure you two have lives you'd like to live when not on the job or working on the investigation."

Shawn fidgeted with his cross for a moment. "But don't take it as me being unappreciative. I appreciate you both a lot. Love you both a lot too. I just don't want to become a burden."

Lana gave Shawn a look. "You never have been nor will you ever be a burden. At least, not to me. I'm not sure about Chris. But I figure you aren't to him, either, because otherwise he wouldn't have agreed to this. So shut up and deal with it," she said, adding a smile at the end. "Look at it this way. We have more time to catch up and hang out this way. Things at the restaurant are handled, and the gang is fine. So for right now, I'm all yours, babe," she added with another smile.

She placed her hand on his thigh, something she use to do all the time, and something she hadn't realized she missed. She'd gone so long without doing it, she forgot that the little things with Shawn made her happy.

Shawn smiled, feeling grateful for Lana's spunk. "Thanks girl." Shawn covered her hand with his own giving it a gentle squeeze. "Well hey, we don't have to stay inside. I can get Nattie to come watch Carter and we can go to the park, get ice cream and catch up as we walk."

Shawn motioned around the lavish yet almost empty apartment. "As you can see, I'm never home long enough to invest in things that help entertain company so... if we don't go do something, you're gonna get bored pretty quickly. You know how much I hate talking about myself. Aside from what I've already told ya, my life isn't worth talking about. Yours on the other hand, well, I'd love to know how Miss Sexy Lana Lang runs the show on her turf," he said with a big grin.