...To See You Again

The doctors took blood for tests. He just sat there, not really feeling anything. When they were done, he walked back out to Matt quickly.

Matt looked up at Jeff and wrapped an arm around him. A few minutes later the doctor came out. "Well Mr. Hardy, I ran the tests a few times and... your clean." He said with a smile.

"Oh, thank God," Jeff breathed before burying his face in Matt's chest, tears of happiness streaming down his face.

Matt let out the breath he'd been holding and held Jeff close. And before he could stop himself he kissed Jeff, right on the lips.

Jeff's eyes widened when Matt kissed him. Not because he didn't want it, but because he knew Matt didn't think of him that way. But, he kissed him back, cupping his face.

Matt knew he shouldn't enjoy it. He knew shouldn't be doing this. But it just felt so... good. So right. He pulled Jeff into his lap and kissed him deeply before pulling away. "Darlin'..." He breathed.

Jeff didn't say anything. He was still recovering from the kiss that made him dizzy. His mouth opened to say something as he looked into Matt's eyes but it was like he forgot how to for words.

Matt stood and pulled Jeff with him. "Let's grab lunch and talk, yeah?" He said softly, his arms sliding around Jeff's waist.

"Okay," Jeff said quietly, leaning into Matt as they walked out of the clinic. He was nervous. No one knew he had been on love with his brother for 15 years.

Matt and Jeff went into subway. Matt bought them sandwiches and they sat in a booth in the back. "Jeff... about the kiss..." He started nervously.

Jeff didn't say anything. He just ate his sub and waited for Matt to say what it was that he needed to say.

"I uh... I guess I'm attracted to yeh darlin'." Matt sighed, picking at his sub. "I know it's wrong... but I just... after seeing you in so long, I feel something more than.. brotherly love."

Jeff smiled a bit. "Mattie, there's something I should tell you. Something big," he said, looking down.

Matt raised a brow. "You're not pregnant are yeh?" He asked.

Jeff chuckled humorlessly. "No, no. Nothing like that. Just, uh, I- I love you, Mattie. More than a brother," he said.

Matt blinked. "O-Oh... wow. You love me... like that..." He ran a hand through his hair. He didn't know what to say.

Jeff nodded. "I have for 15 years," he said softly.

Matt raised his brows. "All that time?" He asked, not being able to believe it.

Jeff nodded. "It's part of the reason I left in the first place. I didn't want to put that on you and at the time, it's not like you would have cared. You probably would have called me a freak and done some other hurtful thing, like you always did," he said softly.

Matt looked down at the table. "I'm sorry I treated you that way. I Just... Iw as young, I was.. confused. I was... angry that Mom wa gone and I took everything out on you. I'm so sorry..." He sighed.

Jeff teared up a bit. "You were angry that Mom was gone? She was the only who ever gave a shit about me, Matt. Even before she died, you and Dad never gave a shit about me. Losing Mom was like losing my best friend. My only friend. You never stopped to think about how I was effected. Neither did Dad," he snapped, tears slowly falling down his face.

Matt sighed. "What do you want from me? I don't know what was going through my head at the time Jeff! But I can't change it! None of us can..." He said quietly. "I'm just... trying my hardest to get it right this time around." He said softly, looking into Jeff's eyes.

Jeff felt... Angry. Angry for what Matt had done, angry for the life he loved, just angry. And on top of that, he wanted more drugs. He stood, slapped Matt and walked out of the restaurant before he could even stop himself. He was just so mad.

Matt's temper flared. He went after Jeff and grabbed the small man by the neck, pressing him easily against the brick wall. "Don't you fucking touch me! I try to help you but... fine! Leave, get high, killed for all I care!" He snapped, the words flying out of his mouth as he threw Jeff to the ground with al his strength, which was a lot to be using on someone Jeff's size.

Jeff groaned as he hit the ground, his head cracking off of the cement. Pain shot through his head and he cried out, his hands flying to his head and tears sprung to his eyes.