Everybody Needs Somebody Sometimes (Johnny)

Carter nodded. He guessed that he just wasn't as artsy when it came to lyrics as Alex. After all, to make a good country song all you needed was a sense of the world. Something that everyone could relate to. This was more refined.

Alex sighed when he finished, his hair in his face as he looked down at the guitar. "I know it probably doesn't make sense... but it's how I feel." He murmured softly.

Carter smiled, "I like it. I'm just use to simplier, country boy lyrics is all. I'm sure I'll get use to your stuff in no time."

Alex smiled a little and handed Carter the guitar. "Show me what ya got." He said.

Carter took the guitar and looked lost in thought. He had forgotten most of the songs he had ever written. But there was one he did remember.

Grandpa in his tux and boutonniere
Grandma in her gown and train
And though they’re gone they shine on through the years
In that old wooden picture frame

Uncle Johnny in Marine attire
Standing on a foreign shore
Still warms the heart above a smouldering fire
Though he never came home from the war

Long after this life’s over
Love will shine on
In pictures on mantles
Eternal candles
Sparks that rekindle yesterday
When fires fade to embers
And our life surrender
They will remember the love we made
In pictures on mantles

The corners of Alex's lips quirked up just a bit in an almost unnoticeable smile. "I like." He mumbled. "You're good. You're the one who should the rock star... or country star rather."

Carter shook his head, "Oh no no no. Your lyrics mean things, are truly deep like art should be. Mine? They're really nothing."

Alex shrugged a little. "Yours are understandable. Just because they're not... strange and weird like mine, doesn't mean they're not deep. I've always been.. different... I've been... cumbersome, to this world we live in. I tend to be a closed book, so that's what my lyrics are. Yours are just as good. Being an open book isn't always such a bad thing." He murmured quietly.

"No but everyone expects more out of you when you're an open book," Carter shrugged.

Alex looked down. "That's not always such bad thing." He mumbled. "Being... closed up, people expect you to fail." He said, absentmindedly plucking the strings of the guitar.

"I wish people expected me to fail. But my sister...I'm the best role model she has. I can't just let her go around thinking little of me so I have to do everything right."

"The strongest people in the world... let themselves make mistakes, so they can learn from them." Alex breathed absentmindedly as he strummed. "That's my advice at least." He added with a shrug.

Carter shook his head, "It's not that simple. She wants to be a cop. What would she think if she heard about half the stuff I did while I was wasted?"

"Well... I think your strong for having the balls to get help." Alex said, shrugging slightly. "Anyone who can get help on their own is strong to me. And if she don't think so... well then she doesn't see how strong you really are. Me? I'm as weak as they come." Alex mumbled softly.

"Your here getting help to," smiled Carter, "That at least takes some guts to stay here..."

Alex tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "I guess." He sighed, looking down. "It's hard though... I just.... don't really love myself enough to want to... stay alive." He admitted.

That statement broke Carter's heart. He quickly but quietly spoke up. "There's always someone in the world that's going to need you. Everybody needs somebody sometimes..."

Alex shook his head, his eyes getting misty. "Look at me. I'm a broke ass junkie who's destroyed his life. Nobody needs me around." He whispered, trying not to let the tears go. He never cried...

"And what if I needed you, huh?" Carter asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Alex stopped strumming completely. "W-Why would you need me?" He whispered, almost afraid to move an inch as if the answer to his question would be missed if he did.

Carter felt foolish. His gut told him that it would have been the wrong thing to say and still he had said it. Scratching the back of his head, Carter fumbled for an answer. "Well..um...your my roommate and...I like you. But maybe I like you as more than a friend?"

"More than a friend..." Alex repeated quietly. He hadn't had a lover since his abusive one. He hadn't had any sexual stimulation, or any... romantic feelings. It was like he was a zombie, his heart dead. "I... I don't know what to say." He whispered. He knew he felt something for Carter... he didn't know what though. He hadn't felt it in a long time.

Carter sighed, "I know it was a stupid thing to say. Lets just forget this ever happened, yeah?"

"No no... Maybe I feel the same way...I don't know." Alex murmured, looking down at his lap and his hair covering his face. Carter was the first person he felt... affectionate towards in a very long time.

"Well I didn't want to seem...I dunno...pushy or something...' Carter replied softly.